Jokes from the Vortex

No Of fence

PG

THE RURAL AUSTRALIA THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY

Log On - Make the barbie hotter Log Off - Don’t add any more wood Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbie Download - Get the firewood off the ute Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once Window - What you shut when it’s cold Screen - What you shut in the mozzie season Byte - What mozzies do Bit - What mozzies did Mega Byte - What Townsville mozzies do Chip - A bar snack Micro Chip - What’s left in the bag after you have eaten the chips Modem - What you did to the lawns Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix’s wife Laptop - Where the cat sleeps Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed Mainframe - What holds the shed up Web - What spiders make Web Site - The shed or under the verandah Cursor - The old bloke that swears a lot Search Engine - What you do when the ute won’t go Upgrade - A steep hill Server - The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things Network - When you have to repair your fishing net Internet - Complicated fish net repair method Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net Online - When you get the laundry hung out Off Line - When the pegs don’t hold the washing up